June 2010
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“I’m all for gender equality, and the news that women would be hacking and slashing their way through the traditionally testosterone-fueled world of Gears of War filled me with a special sort of glee I usually reserve for chance meetings with Eric Roberts or discovering that there is not one but two free toys in my specially-marked box of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes. you have to understand, this is a Big Fucking Deal.
But the press fussed over ridiculous details, such as whether or not it’d be okay for women to be hacked to pieces with a chainsaw in the game. Such was the no-brainer’dness of the question that all of the other details got pushed out of everybody’s head… including mine.
Imagine, for a moment, the Gears of War universe. Imagine its inhabitants for a second - traditionally, the men are big, muscle-bound goliaths touting incredibly large guns, leaping over walls and forcing chainsaws into people’s solar plexuses. The women - that is, the women we’ve seen so far - have generally been a lot leaner. Thin, attractive characters who tick every “woman in videogame” box.
With this in mind, take a look at this screenshot… …and ask yourself: If that not-particularly-bulky woman can carry that fucking heavy gun, why the balls do all the male characters need to be so over-the-top muscular?
[Answer: They’re being rendered in the Unreal Engine. Arf.]” —
But the press fussed over ridiculous details, such as whether or not it’d be okay for women to be hacked to pieces with a chainsaw in the game. Such was the no-brainer’dness of the question that all of the other details got pushed out of everybody’s head… including mine.
Imagine, for a moment, the Gears of War universe. Imagine its inhabitants for a second - traditionally, the men are big, muscle-bound goliaths touting incredibly large guns, leaping over walls and forcing chainsaws into people’s solar plexuses. The women - that is, the women we’ve seen so far - have generally been a lot leaner. Thin, attractive characters who tick every “woman in videogame” box.
With this in mind, take a look at this screenshot… …and ask yourself: If that not-particularly-bulky woman can carry that fucking heavy gun, why the balls do all the male characters need to be so over-the-top muscular?
[Answer: They’re being rendered in the Unreal Engine. Arf.]” —
It’s a proven scientific fact that the skinnier a woman is, the greater her upper body strength. Amy Winehouse can bend lamp posts into lovehearts with her bare hands.
