Ok so I’m a huge fan of the Justin Bieber song Boyfriend, but today my friend pointed out while looking at the lyrics online that there’s a strange lyric in there (well all the lyrics are awful strange but this one in particular is fascinating)
Chillin by the fire
why we eatin’ fondue
now I’ve listened to the song a bunch to figure this out, and while it could go either way, I’m going to give Bieber the benefit of the doubt and assume that he meant ‘while we eatin’ fondue’ which is still weird but not AS weird as ‘why we eatin’ fondue,’ but the thing is this is the lyric found on EVERY SINGLE LYRICS WEBSITE.
What follows is ‘I dunno about me but I know about you’ which if the preceding phrase is ‘why we eatin’ fondue’ it means Justin Bieber DOESN’T KNOW why he’s eating fondue but is PRETTY SURE why this girl is eating fondue.
Just IMAGINE a confused Justin Bieber sitting next to a fire looking down at his fondue and mouthing ‘why…?’
Unfortunately there has NOT yet been a surge in fondue popularity among tweens, and Melting Pot has YET to buy a sponsorship deal with Bieber.
I’m a counselor at a summer camp for divorced men. Do you know any good dick tricks I could use to teach my campers some basic skills while also having a lot of fun?
—Larry of Camp Divorce in St. Albans Bay, VT
This is an old one, but you can light a fire with only your dick, a flint rock, and some brush. Simply hit your dick with the rock repeatedly until it creates sparks, and with good aim they’ll ignite the brush. You may need a strong arm and patience.
But once your fire’s built and everyone’s toasty, what to do? Well, did you know that every dick, when pulled taut and plucked, produces a meaty twang at its own unique frequency? With enough campers, you could probably put together a full pentatonic scale, and with a little bit of practice you could teach them to play some nice campfire songs with just their dicks!
Imagine twelve divorced men plucking away at their dicks to the tune of George Harrison’s “My Sweet Lord”, their faces and dicks illuminated only by the warm orange glow of a fire and the silvery glimmer of the moon. This will be a summer to remember.