So my boss and I had a talk about what an asshole I am the other day.

He hasn’t been in the job long, but has basically decided (because I told him so) that I “lack social skills”.  He’s mentioned certain members of my team and company view me as difficult to approach and abrasive, though most people feel that this is a result of me beiing “extremely intelligent, but not able to understanding that other people can’t always keep up with you” rather than any inherent nastiness.  He has talked to former co-workers at my previous company who say the same thing.

He acknowledged that my attitude wasn’t really helped by the fact that I’d been in my current role for too long, with no real opportunities to advance or take on new tasks, as well as ongoing frustrations outside my control that have never satisfactorily resolved.  But he also said, “Look, this is a small issue in the grand scheme of things, but you need to know that you may be limiting your career by fostering this reputation as being a hardass.”

Putting aside the fact that this is not my “career” (it’s what I do to earn rent until I go back to uni) this did get me thinking about how I act at work.  I’m a cunt.  I’m rude, sarcastic, and mean to people who don’t do exactly what I want.  I shout at people until they cry.  And then I walk out the door and I’m the nicest person in the world again.  I say please and thank you, apologise for brushing against people in the street, and never raise my voice or put someone out. 

The biggest copout of all would be to say, “Well, that’s OK, because Work Me is not the Real Me.”  If I don’t consider this an appropriate way to act most of the time, why am I allowing myself to act this way at work?  I could blame the culture of my team and the company, and the abovementioned frustrations, but the reality is that I’ve let my standards slip and allowed myself to succumb to bad habits.  The people that I deal with at work are real people with real feelings (even if they’re mostly mental midgets with the IQ of a fencepost) and they don’t deserve to be treated this way.

So starting today I’m going to try and be nicer at work.  I’m going to try and have more patience.  I’m going to try and stop myself from throwing out sarcasm whenever someone asks me a question I consider “stupid”. 

How hard can it be, right?

7 Notes/ Hide

  1. luxie said: always great to see someone self reflect and acknowledge the flaws that they aren’t proud of. good luck, hope ya see things get more positive. :}
  2. the-boob-ninja said: Good luck! Sounds like a positive change to me. It can be hard dealing with idiots all day, but everyone loves a compliment or some other form of validation from someone they respect.
  3. inflamma-tori said: It won’t work. They’re just going to think you’re bipolar. You can’t just switch. I say keep being yourself. Mean people get respect ;)
  4. andrealessi posted this